Monday, May 31, 2010

Coming Clean

Well I decided yesterday that I'm wiping out all of the issues from this year so far. I'm officially bringing awesome back!

Another one from Hilary Duff. "Coming Clean" is a real pick me up.

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no life
I defy

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin

'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming...

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean

Let's go back
Back to the beginning


I'm going to go back to a good point and will simply start again.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Rainy Days and Mondays

It's a Monday... nuff said.

Talkin' to myself and feeling old.
Sometimes I'd like to quit;
Nothing ever seems to fit;
Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues:
Nothin' is really wrong;
Feelin' like I don't belong;
Walkin' around, some kind of lonely clown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny, but it seems that I always wind up-a here with you;
Nice to know somebody loves me.
Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do:
Run and find the one who loves me.

What I feel is come and gone before:
No need to talk it out;
We know what it's all about.
Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do,
Run and find the one who loves me

What I feel is come and gone before:
No need to talk it out;
We know what it's all about.
Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Hangin' around, nothing do to but frown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down


Today it is going to rain one way or another...

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Believe

Every once in a while life just sucks and there is little you can really do about it. Today's tune goes out to my grandfather...

So after all these one night stands
You've ended up with heart in hand
A child alone
On your own
Retreating
Regretful for the things you're not
And all dreams you haven't got
Without a home
A heart of stone
Lies bleeding

And for all the roads you followed
And for all you did not find
And for all the things you had to leave behind

I am the way
I am the light
I am the dark inside the night
I hear your hopes
I feel your dreams
And in the dark
I hear your screams
Don't turn away
Just take my hand
And when you make your final stand
I'll be right there
I'll never leave
All I ask of you
Believe
Your childhood eyes were so intense
While bartering your innocence
For bits of string
Grown-up wings
You needed

But when you had to add them up
You found that they were not enough
To get you in
Pay for sins repeated

And for all the years you borrowed
And for all the tears you cried
And for all the fears you had to keep inside

I am the way
I am the light
I am the dark inside the night
I hear your hopes
I feel your dreams
And in the dark
I hear your screams
Don't turn away
Just take my hand
And when you make your final stand
I'll be right there
I'll never leave
And all I ask of you is
Believe

I never wanted to know
Never wanted to see
I wasted my time
Till time wasted me
Never wanted to go
Always wanted to stay
'Cause the person I am
Are the parts that I play
So I plot and I plan
Hope and I scheme
To the lure of a night
Filled with unfinished dreams
And I'm holding on tight
To a world gone astray
As they charge me for years
I can't pay

I am the way
I am the light
I am the dark inside the night
I hear your hopes
I feel your dreams
And in the dark
I hear your screams Don't turn away
Just take my hand
And when you make your final stand
I'll be right there
I'll never leave
And all I ask of you is
Believe

Believe


I'll be here, for as long as I need to be.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Paranoid

Feeling a little paranoid these days. But just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean that they aren't out to get me.

Gotta love Ozzy. Still love his cameo in the movie "Little Nicky", oh the sweet victory that the angels send Ozzy of all people to save the earth from Satan himself. Although I generally prefer the Oz many on his own over Black Sabbath, there are few fans of either that don't recognise this as a defining track.

Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me, occupy my brain?
Oh yeah...

I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late


While they were going for a sombre mood and conclusion to this track, because that's what Sabbath did, I'm going to argue that it's never too late.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Stars

"Is it asking too much?" Now that is a very good question. While I don't think I'm alone in the thinking that occasionally I do think that there is nothing about me, that the lights are fading and the stage is really empty.

I love Lacuna Coil, Cristina Scabbia has to be one of the most talented vocalists I've heard in some time. While this is a cover of a Dubstar song, I can say that I love this particular track - "Stars".

Is it asking too much to be given time
To know these songs and to sing them
Is it asking too much of my vacant smile
And my laugh and lies that bring them

As the stars are going out
And this stage is full of nothing
And the friends have all but gone
For my life my god I'm singing

We'll take our hearts outside
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...

Is it asking too much of my favorite friends
To take this song for real
Is it asking too much of my partner's hands
To take this song for real

As the stars are going out
And this stage is full of nothing
And the friends have all but gone
For my life my god I'm singing

We'll take our hearts out side
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...

We'll take our hearts out side
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...

We'll take our hearts out side...
We'll take our hearts out side...

We'll take our hearts out side,
Leave our lives behind,
I'll watch the stars go out...

We'll take our hearts out side,
Leave our lives behind,
I'll watch the stars go out...

We'll take our hearts out side
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...
(leaving our lifes behind)

We'll take our hearts out side
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...
(leaving our lifes behind)

We'll take our hearts out side
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...
(leaving our lifes behind)

We'll take our hearts out side
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...
(leaving our lifes behind)

We'll take our hearts out side
Leave our lives behind
I'll watch the stars go out...


Well... guess I'll just have to start lighting the stars once again. One at a time.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Reflections

After watching Britney vs Christina this weekend on tv I was taken back a few years to the movie Mulan. I really enjoyed the movie (but then again I enjoy all Disney movies).

Christina really is a great singer when she's not wailing. But here is the them tune from the movie, Mulan - "Reflections"

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart,

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
Whats inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know

Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
who I am inside

when will my reflection show
who I am inside (oooohhhh)


Never hide who you really are, you'd simply be robbing the world of who you could be.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Kickapoo

Well trying to keep it lighthearted for a Friday. It's always entertaining to see how many rock stars actually put in cameo appearances in movies. Dio and Meat Loaf both put in a good showing in the movie "the Pick of Destiny".

Loved the movie mostly because I can relate an awful lot - mostly on the sucking at being a muso bit. But hey, someones got to suck to make the others that much better!

Jack Black (Narrator)
A long ass fuckin' time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through.
But yea there was a black sheep,
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B.
And he refused to step in-line.
A vision he did see of
Fucking rocking all the time.
He wrote a tasty jam
And all the planets did align.

Jack Black (Son)
Oh the dragon's balls were blazin'
As I stepped into his cave.
Then I sliced his fuckin' cockles,
With a long and shiny blade!
Twas I who fucked the dragon,
Fuckalizing fuckaloo!
And if you try to fuck with me,
Then I shall fuck you too!
Gotta get it on in the party zone!
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in a party zone!
Gotta suck a chode in the party zone!

Meat Loaf (Father)
You've disobeyed my orders son,
Why were you ever born?
Your brother's ten times better than you,
Jesus loves him more.
This music that you play for us
Comes from the depths of hell.
Rock and roll's the devil's work,
He wants you to rebel.
You'll become a mindless puppet;
Beelzebub will pull the strings!
Your heart will lose direction,
And chaos it will bring.
You'd better shut your mouth,
You better watch your tone!
You're grounded for a week with no telephone!
Don't let me hear you cry,
Don't let me hear you moan!
You gotta praise The Lord when you're in my home!

Jack Black (Son)
Dio can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone...
I'm askin' for your guidance,
Won't you come down from your throne?
I need a tight compadre
Who will teach me how to rock.
My Father thinks you're evil,
But man, he can suck a cock.
Rock is not the devil's work,
It's magical and rad.
I'll never rock as long as I am
Stuck here with my Dad...

Ronnie James Dio (Dio poster)
I hear you brave young Jables,
You are hungry for the rock.
But to learn the ancient method,
Sacred doors you must unlock.
Escape your father's clutches,
On this oppressive neighborhood.
On a journey you must go,
To find the land of Hollywood!
In The City of Fallen Angels,
Where the ocean meets the sand,
You will form a strong alliance,
And the world's most awesome band!
To find your fame and fortune,
Through the valley you must walk.
You will face your inner demons.
Now go my son and rock!

Jack Black (Narrator)
So he bailed from fuckin' Kickapoo
With hunger in his heart.
And he journeyed far and wide
To find the secrets of his art.
But in the end he knew
That he would find his counterpart.
Rooooock!
Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock.
Raye-yayayayaye-yock.


So lets go... and rock!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Life is Beautiful

I'm still enjoying all the cheesy tracks from the 80's this week which brought me to this one. "Life is Beautiful" by Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe. He's come some way since those days but an awesome muso.

This track although very dark and depressing in may ways makes you sit back and appreciate that there are many things that happen, many things that we do, but we have to learn the lesson.

You can't quit until you try
You can't live until you die
You can't learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie
You can't breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you're the joke? It's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
Will you swear on your life that no one will cry at my funeral

I know some things that you don't? I've done things that you won't
It's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home
I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
Will you swear on your life that no one will cry at my funeral

Alive
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
Will you swear on your life that no one will cry at my funeral

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
Will you swear on your life that no one will cry at my funeral


If you give it a chance, you'll realise that life is beautiful. Warts and all.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

If It Makes You Happy

Well sitting at the pup last night watching VH1 and this one kinda popped up to mind while watching Sheryl Crow perform "Strong Enough".

This is a question I've asked a lot of people, to which there is so very rarely an answer, "If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?" Mostly religious folk mind you... or those that have made some poor life choice (often the same thing in my opinion).

I've been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos,
And drank til I was thirsty again
We went searching through thrift store jungles
Found Geronimo's rifle, Marilyn's shampoo
And Benny Goodman's corset and pen

Well, o.k. I made this up
I promised you I'd never give up

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

You get down, real low down
You listen to Coltrane, derail your own train
Well who hasn't been there before?
I come round, around the hard way
Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread
And serve you french toast again

Well, o.k. I still get stoned
I'm not the kind of girl you'd take home

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

We've been far, far away from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos
And everywhere in between
Well, o.k. we get along
So what if right now everything's wrong?

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad


Honestly, why the hell are you so sad?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Between Two Hearts

You just have to love the cheese that was rock in the 80's (and I guess onwards). Well I'm still on Dio for now. Mostly because the news of his passing just brought back a lot of memories from my somewhat misspent youth.

Good times I tell you... good times.

"Between two hearts" was one that kinda struck a chord with me (no pun intended) in my early teens. From the album, "Lock up the Wolves" which I played to death on cassette (anyone remember those?).

She never breaks into the conversation
He seems to be the reason why she lives
She tries to be the perfect kind of stranger
But we always seem to love the most
The ones who never give

It's between two hearts
A personal situation
It's between two hearts
The kind of love with a bad reputation

We never have to ask her why she's crying
The simile she had's been kicked into a frown
But still it makes her day to be his pleasure
Should we open up her eyes
Can we ever break the spell

It's between two hearts
A personal combination
It's between two hearts
The kind of love with a bad reputation

Put on your party face and come along
Join in the big parade
Here comes the camera
Do you look as good as your sister
Smile at the animals
They should be the ones in the cages
Turn the page

Another way to spend a rainy Sunday
Waiting for a call that never comes
The mystery is how she makes her choices
But don't we always choose
The ones who hide the sun

It's between two hearts
Love and desperation
It's between two hearts
The kind of love
Between two hearts
A personal situation
It's between two hearts
The kind of love with a reputation


I suppose I'll kick back and just enjoy the tunes for now. Thankfully some things echo long after we are gone.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Holy Diver

Well news is that Ronnie James Dio passed away on the 16th of May, 2010. This is one of my favourites from Dio, "Holy Diver". Hard to think I've been playing his stuff for most of my life.

As often happens with good songs, this one has been covered by several artists over time with Killswitch Engage and Pat Boone being my preferred covers.

Hmmmmhmmmm
Yeah Yeah

Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away
Holy Diver, yeah

(Got)Shiny diamonds
Like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue
Something is coming for you, look out

Race for the morning
You can hide in the sun 'till you see the light
Oh we will pray it's all right

Gotta get away
Get away

Between the velvet lies
There's a truth that's hard as steel
The vision never dies
Life's a never ending wheel, yeah

Holy Diver
You're the star of the masquerade
No need to look so afraid

Jump Jump
Jump on the tiger
You can feel his heart but you know he's mean
Some light can never be seen, yeah



Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me, no! Yeah!

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

Gotta get away, get away
Gotta get away, get away, yeah yeah
Holy Diver
Sole survivor
Your heart is clean
Yeah Holy Diver
Holy Diver
Holy Diver
Holy Diver
Your caught in the middle coming after you Holy Diver
Oh Holy Diver
Holy Diver
Get away, get away, get away, come on


RIP Ronnie.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Now That We're Men

Well it's Friday once again and I'm trying to stick true to form and add something as far removed from serious as possible.

I've been going through a lot of DVD's of late. My collection is pretty much made up of bad horrors, animated movies and the Star Wars collection. Today's tune comes from the Spongebob Movie.

Today's tune is a reminder that if you believe something will do the trick, often it'll do just that.

Now that we're men, we can do anything
Now that we're men, we are invincible
Now that we're men, we'll go to shell city
Get the crown, save the town and Mr. Krabs
Now that we're men, we have facial hair
Now that we're men, I change my underwear
Now that we're men, we got a manly flair
We got the stuff, we're tough enough to save the day
We never had a chance when we were kids, no no no
But take a look at what we've already did, ha ha ha

Now that they're men, we can't bother them
Now that they're men, they have become our friends
Now that they're men, there'll be a happy end
They'll pass the test, and finish the quest for the crown
They'll pass the test
And finish the quest
They'll pass the test, and finish the quest for the crown


I guess now I really can do anything! ;)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

California Dreamin'

Time to get off of the beaten path for a little bit. Summer really is on it's way out these days. The mornings are chilly and it's just starting to get light when I get to work. Thankfully I live in KZN so winter is never as bad as Jo'burg... or shudder the Cape!

This tune, "California Dreamin'" by The Mamas & The Papas is a real classic. Goes back to long before I was born. But then again somethings are pretty timeless - like all good music.

I know that there are much deeper meanings to this particular song - much debated in some camps. But I'm just going to say that today, it's a pretty song.

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I went for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreamin'
On such a winter's day

I stopped into a church (stopped into a church)
I passed along the way (passed along the way)
You know, I got down on my knees (got down on my knees)
And I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray)
Oh, the preacher likes the cold (preacher likes the cold)
He knows I'm gonna stay (knows I'm gonna stay)
Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day

All the leaves are brown (the leaves are brown)
And the sky is grey (and the sky is grey)
I went for a walk (I went for a walk)
On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
If I didn't tell her (if I didn't tell her)
I could leave today (I could leave today)

Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day


I'm really a summer child. So bring on the sun!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tonight He Grins Again

Today's tune is a little more of an internal battle. Slipping back to those things that we once found comfort in no matter how much damage it would eventually do. I guess we often find some sort of familiarity in things that we once did.

I've battled my demons before, and no doubt will battle them again. Generally I prefer to run, after all I'd rather be known as a coward than be remembered as a hero.

Yet another fantastic track from Savatage, "Tonight He Grins Again" might just be one of the greatest songs ever written.

Nighttime again
Seems I'm my only friend
Wander the streets alone
The lost in search of his own

Once again I've played the clown
Used my friends and let them down
Walk the streets just staring out
Late at night the strange come out

Time, time, time again
I'm just looking for a friend
But no one seems to be around
Just this monkey that I've found
Still he is my only friend
And tonight he grins again
Tonight he grins again
Oh yeah
Tonight he grins again

It's cold this pain
It's burning inside my veins
I walk away
A shadow of Dorian Gray

Once again I've played the clown
Used my friends and let them down
Walk the streets staring out
Late at night the strange come out

Time, time, time again
I'm just looking for a friend
No one seems to be around
Just this monkey that I've found
Still he is my only friend
And tonight he grins again
Tonight he grins again
Oh yeah
Tonight he grins again

Oooh, livin' on the...edge


Gotta wave that monkey goodbye

Sunday, May 9, 2010

No 1 Crush

Well, it's a Monday, and so another week begins. I've spent quite a bit of time on my own of late (through choice) in an effort to get some of life's filing done. I'm not really sure how that's going to be honest. But if nothing else, at least I've taken everything out and dusted off some of the good bits, looked back on some of the not so good and ultimately realised that I'm still made of sterner stuff.

I guess, I'm moving on. Today's tune from Garbage is "#1 Crush". This takes us to the borders of obsession, insanity... or as most f us know it, love. This was re-mixed for the Rome and Juliette soundtrack which really fits the whole theme of the song.

I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine

I will cry for you
I will cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear

I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will sell my soul for something pure and true
Someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time I am talking
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
I'll tear it apart

I will lie for you
I can steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me

Violate all my love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me
And I can never be ignored

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I would wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be a part of you
'Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you.


I'm not sure about obsessive, but insane I can certainly do. Guess I'm just searching for my Juliette.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Today Again

This one is actually a sad song, a tribute to Tony Thomson. But, I prefer to look at it as a little ray of light.

"Today Again" by Just Jinger although a rather somber track takes me back a good few years. I guess smiles are infectious you should always share yours.

I made somebody smile today
He sang from from the clouds today
So did I
For some the earth never opens wide
To see the otherside
They just hide
I'm up, today, again
Will we be here tomorrow and then
Now for a short while I sold myself
Put my heart on the shelf
For nothing much
I thought that I would not make it through
I bit more than I could chew
But I'm still here
I'm still here and oh I know
That I'm up, today, again
Will we be here tomorrow and then
I did not hold myself worthy to be alive
I did not hold myself worthy to be alive
I'm up, today, again
Will we be here tomorrow and then
I made somebody smile today
That sweet child died today, so did I
Today, my opens really opened wide
I saw the otherside


I guess the important thing to remember is that we can always make someone smile. At times it's all we really can do.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

This is the Time

It's a long path that brings us to where we are. Yet another cliche, but it's more about the journey than the destination. I'm pretty sure I have no idea where it is I am going, but right now I am where I need to be.

Today's tune comes, yet again from Savatage. From the album "Dead Winter Dead" a rather sad tale of the war in Sarajevo. This is right in the beginning of the story, so much hope, so many dreams and so much promise. The start of a journey.

This is the time...

Watching in silence, I hesitate: It was not in the plans
All of our lives we could only wait: It was out of our hands

And every war where we took the day, it was all in our heads
And though in the dark we dream at night, they were better unsaid

But this is the time and this is the place
And these are the signs that we must embrace
The moment is now, in all history
The time has arrived and this is the one place to be

Yeah, yeah

We placed our years in the hourglass, they were never unearned
And we seemed destined to watch them pass - it was never our turn

But this is the time and this is the place
And these are the signs that we must embrace
The moment is now, in all history
The time has arrived and this is the one place to be

Yeah, yeah

This is the time and this is the place
And these are the signs that we must embrace
The moment is now, in all history
The time has arrived and this is the one place to be

Yeah, yeah


This really does ring true. No matter where I am, this is the time and this is the place because this is the one place I should be.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Creep

I'm certainly a weirdo, but I'm actually quite happy with that. I fear normal, I will not be assimilated like the mindless masses.

Radiohead are one of those bands that I guess to the most degree I don't get. But as a friend pointed out a long time ago, "As long as the artist puts something in, I can get something out". In this case I think Thom Yorke does a fantastic job. You always get a emotional feel from what he has to offer.

I think my favourite line in this one is the, "what ever makes you happy" line. Pretty much signifies that nothing else really matters, but somehow it's more of a resignation than a declaration.

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...


I don't belong here... then again, where do I belong? There lies the real question.

Monday, May 3, 2010

In The End

Another one that covers things pretty well, methinks. I guess there really is only so much trust you can put in someone - all of it. But in the end it doesn't really matter.

"In The End" by Linkin Park is one that really takes me back a good few years and for some strange reason keeps popping up. Guess I should take that as a sign.

(It starts with)
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter


I guess in the end it doesn't even matter.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Home

Well, it's a Monday and I've never been much of a fan of Monday's. So here's a bit of an opposite of Friday's tune.

"Home" by Sheryl Crow kinda hits home for me... okay, so I didn't marry a man (although that is now legal in SA and not in some backward countries like the US) but know this scenario all too well.

Oh and she has like the greatest hair, ever!

I woke up this morning
Now I understand
What it means to give your life
To just one man
Afraid of feeling nothing
No bees or butterflies
My head is full of voices
And my house is full of lies

This is home, home
And this is home, home
This is home

I found your standing there
When I was seventeen
Now I'm thirty-two
And I can't remember what I've seen in you
And I made a promise
Said it everyday
Now I'm reading romance novels
And I'm dreaming of yesterday

This is home, home
And this is home,
And this is home
This is home

I'd like to see the Riviera
And slowdance underneath the stars
I'd like to watch the sun come up
In a stranger's arms

This is home, oh

And this is home, home,
Home, home

I'm going crazy
A little every day
And everything I wanted
Is now driving me away
I woke this morning
To the sound of breaking hearts
Mine is full of questions
And it's tearing yours apart
Tearing yours apart
It's tearing yours apart
Tearing yours apart
And it's tearing us apart


Mine still remains full of questions... to which I'm sure there are no answers.