In the Arms of Sleep

Another night of failed sleep. I've never really been one to sleep all that well so I guess it shouldn't bother me as much. Think I'll start freaking out properly when I start seeing little bald doctors.

Todays tune is another one from The Smashing Pumpkins, "In the Arms of Sleep". In this case I'm seeing Sleep itself as being call upon much like one might call upon an ex-lover.

Sleep and me haven't seen much of each other of late...

sleep will not come to this tired body now
peace will not come to this lonely heart
there are some things i'll live without
but i want you to know that i need you right now
i need you tonite
i steal a kiss from her sleeping shadow moves
cause i'll always miss her wherever she goes
and i'll always need her more than she could ever need me
i need someone to ease my mind
but sometimes a someone is so hard to find
and i'll do anything to keep her here tonite
and i'll say anything to make her feel alright
and i'll be anything to keep her here tonite
cause i want you to stay, with me
i need you tonite
she comes to me like an angel out of time
as i play the part of a saint on my knees
there are some things i'll live without
but i want you to know that i need you right now
suffer my desire
suffer my desire
suffer my desire for you

I need you right now.

Appels + Oranjes

Ever find yourself wondering, "What if?" What if everything was different, what if everything was something new?

Today's tune, Appels + Oranjes by The Smashing Pumkins pretty much poses one question after the other... or is it a case of making a statement?

What if the sun refused to shine?
What if the clouds refused to rain?
What if the wind refused to blow?
What if the seas refused to wave?
What if the world refused its turn?
What if the stars would hesitate?

What if, what is isn't true?
What are you going to do?
What if, what is isn't you?
Does that mean you've got to lose?
Digging for the feel of something new

What if the silence let you dream?
What if the air could let you breathe?
What if the words would bring you here?
What if this sound could bring you peace?

What if, what is isn't true?
What are you going to do?
Digging for the feel of something new
What if, what is isn't you?
What are you going to do?

It came from your thoughts, your dreams and visions.
Ripped up from your weeks and indecisions

What if the sun refused to shine?
What if the clouds refused to rain?
What if the world refused to turn?
What if the clocks would hesitate?

What if, what is isn't true?
What are you going to do?
What if, what is isn't you?
Does that mean you've got to lose?
Digging for the feel of something new

Does that mean you've got to choose?
The feel of something new
Does that mean you've got to lose?
The thoughts you cannot use
What are you gonna do?

What if everything we thought to be true wasn't?

Home

On my way into work this morning (hey David, I still don't have my MP3 player installed!!), I was suddenly caught in a moment of thought. What is a home, is it bricks and slate? Tin and glass? Not really was my conclusion... sure those could be a house but not always a home.

Today's tune, "Home" by the Goo Goo Dolls kinda covers that sentiment. Home really is where the heart is. How often do we find ourselves in those crowded rooms with people that seem to just be passing time? The emptiness?

Crowded rooms full of empty faces
Our deepest conversation full of lies
Another night with all my friends
The kind you'll never see again
I wonder if they'll see through my disguise

And I want to say
That I can't hold back
And it might be wrong
But it's all I have

Come take me home tonight
Come take me home
Oh I need you now
I'm lost without you
A million miles but I will find you
So take me home

It's 3 A.M. and I can't sleep without you
I think I've found the perfect words to say
The shattered light transmits my voice
Sometimes we don't have a choice
I'd wake you up from half a world away

And I tried so hard
Tried to be so strong
But you see the crash
My defense is gone

Come take me home tonight
Come take me home
Oh I need you now
I'm lost without you
A million miles but I will find you

Come take me home tonight
Come take me home
Oh, come take me home tonight
Come take me home

Come take me home
The shattered light transmits my voice
Sometimes we don't have a choice
Come take me home
Wake you up from half a world away
Oh I need you now
I'm lost without you
I'm holding on till I can find you
So take me home

Home... it's not really a place. But reckon by now I'm about half way through my million miles?

Run

For some bizarre reason I've got a Snow Patrol song stuck in my head. Stranger yet is that it's the Leona Lewis version of "Run".

I guess the line, "I know we'll make it anywhere away from here" sums up a lot of where I once was. Anywhere else was a better, safer place to be. But in the end, possibly just running away from myself?

While this particular song was no doubt written with more than a single person involved, sometimes I guess we need to just talk to ourselves and carry ourselves over certain hurdles. Guess that's why every witch or wizard always had a familiar... an extension of themselves. That other part that makes us who we are.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

I guess when you're running into the dark a little light always helps. Be that light...

Home

Today's tune came about because I would rather simply be at home rather than in the office this morning. I hate cold starts to the day. But that said, gotta pay the bills some how. "Home" by Michael Buble tells the tale of someone wanting to follow a dream only to realise that they had given up way too much to do so. I guess, to quote Jon Oliva (of Savatage) "If standing on a dream isn't what it seams could we claim a dream refused"? I wonder...

Ever realise that at times you are the most loneliest when surrounded by a lot of people. I usually use large gatherings as me time, funny how it takes so much less effort when there are just more people about.

So as the summer days pass and the wintery ones begin....

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

Home, not really sure where that is I guess.

Beyond the Sea

Everyone knows I just love the sea. I could spend hours... days... (heck I do) just staring out over the horizon. There's something magical about that.

Originally recorded by Bobby Darin, in 1959, "Beyond the Sea" has been covered by many artists from Robbie Williams and Michael Buble, Frank Sinatra and Harry Connick Jr. Most will remember it from the closing moments in the movie Finding Nemo.

While this one kind of tells the tail of a sailor out at sea with a girl waiting back home it also works as a tale of how many of us seem to just float on by. How often have we set sail to some degree only to wish to return to shores that we knew so well?

Somewhere beyond the sea
somewhere waiting for me
my lover stands on golden sands
and watches the ships that go sailin'

Somewhere beyond the sea
she's there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
then straight to her arms
I'd go sailin'

It's far beyond the stars
it's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
my heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore
we'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
and never again I'll go sailin'

I know beyond a doubt
my heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet (I know we'll meet) beyond the shore
We'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
and never again I'll go sailin'

no more sailin'
so long sailin'
bye bye sailin'...
move on out captain

Sometimes it's perfect to just sit and look out over the sea. Enjoy the view and know that you're done sailing.

Angels Cry

I'm going obscure today, because I can. It's a mix and match week with holidays peppering the working week.

"Angels Cry" by Angra is no doubt open to a lot of interpretation. Personally I see it as the tragedy that is the loss of hope or how some people seem to lack any real conviction. I guess if you're just going to sit there and wait, you're going to still be sitting there waiting for time to come.

Release the chains that bind us... to ourselves, to this day. Because that change that we're hoping on my be coming tomorrow. You just never know.

Cry in the night of the angel
For their light will never shine
With their hearts so full of sorrow
Muddy waters all around
The curtain falls for helpless souls
How they suffer swept aside
And the raging streams are flowing
with so little hope inside

(Is like)
Angels crying
Can't take no more
Angels dying
Capture their fall

Try to see this misery
your future is not what you wished it to be
So try to fly, the answer lies
in the angry darkened skies
(angry darkened skies)

You just keep on standing in these fields all your life
You sow the seeds that never grow
No harvest comes such a strain to feed the few
Still you're waiting, it's in vain...
The change must come right now!

Oh, see the sun in the sky
(From the dawn of destruction)
Free, free this chain from my heart...
(chain, chain, chain)
Hear the cry of angels
from this life you cannot hide
cause the change may come tomorrow
for the solemn weeping eyes

(Like)
Angels crying
Can't take no more
Angels dying
Capture their fall

Try to see this misery
your future is not what you wished it to be
So try to fly, the answer lies
in the angry darkened skies
(angry darkened skies)

You just keep on standing in these fields all your life
You sow the seeds that never grow
No harvest comes such a strain to feed the few
Still you're waiting, it's in vain...
The change must come right now!

Angels are crying and dying
There must be some way
endless you stray, still you pray for a better life
Nobody sees when a glimpse
of your target lies behind you,
Like steps of the pilgrims unshined!

Lack of hope just waiting for something to happen I guess brings tears even to the angels.